Quotes

Apparently, there is a whole website dedicated to folks who use quotation marks when they shouldn't. Or more accurately, to convey sarcasm. I just flat out loved it.

Sooooo. I guess they're not going to deliver the flowers then. It's not mandatory, but they don't need to be such jerks about it.



If it's not milk, then what did you boil it in? Did you boil it in water? Or was it some unmentioned milky substance? I deserve to know what I just ate!

But this one here is my personal favorite, by far.




Why in the world is "Sex Crimes" in quotes? Are they implying that sex crimes don't happen?

"I've heard a bunch about all these high fallutin' so-called "Sex Crimes", but I'm not buying it."

Or "Teens". It's what they like to call the "No Sex Policy" Van. *nudge-nudge-wink-wink*

I can't even wrap my mind around what an fake abortion might entail.

Heck, there's no need for me to call each one out, when you can read 'em there plain as day.


I suppose I should provide a link, seeing how I vastly exceeded the concept of fair use.

Hat-tip to Anni.

TUOQ today

This one caught my eye today.

For those of you who don't know "TUOQ" means Tactical Use Of Quotes.

It's when people use a word, but the real meaning is that the word is false.

Like such:

General Petraeus claims that the "surge" is working.

Or even better.

"General" Petraeus claims that the "surge" is "working".

When you point it out they can claim that they didn't mean it. It pretty much has no place in the news. Heck, it pretty much has no place at all. Here's one I saw today on CNN.



It's fairly poopy.

1936

Here's a pic of some folks prostesting the olympics, since that seems to be a hot topic in the news.

Rewrite history much?

This is a heavy one, so get ready

So this weekend I went on a trip to see my sis in law get her terminal degree. I think it’s called a DMA, but it’s pretty much a PHD for music. I was a bit apprehensive about going, but my wife convinced me with instructions that I remain “patient, which was code for “passive”.

The issue was being in close proximity to a Liberal. (With a capital L) I know that some of you have different definitions of “Liberal”, however I’d like you to know that there is no debate about where this one lies. It’s what some of you call the “Brando Definition” of Liberal.



Just so everyone knows where I’m coming from; In Iraq, being captured is much less desirable to being killed outright. The enemy does not adhere to our Rules of Engagement, or even the rules of humanity. If you are captured by the enemy you will be subjected to things you cannot imagine.

Torture.

I’m not talking about waterboarding. I’m talking about powerdrilling. Try to imagine someone taking a powerdrill to your eyes. Or your navel. Or your genitals. Actually try to imagine it.

I’m not talking about putting underwear on your head. I’m talking about sawing off your fucking head, and filming it, so your family and everyone who knows you can watch.

I’m not talking about letting dogs bark at you. I’m talking about peeling off your face with piano wire.

So during my deployment, we made a pact with each other that being captured was absolutely the last thing we would allow to happen. Because the things that only happen in a movie like SAW was actually something that we had to consider as reality.

Because it is reality.

I have very little tolerance for those individuals who rejoice when U.S. Servicemen are worked over like that. A common position for the left wing is mirth, because to them the Servicemen “had it coming”.

Well, in 2005 they came out with that movie Syriana. We all know that one trademark scene of the film where the terrorists are ripping out George Clooney’s fingernails. It’s the quintessential scene of the movie. That’s fiction right?

Remember Tucker and Menchaca at Yousifiyah. We all remember when that happened. Most of us were sickened by it, but a few abysmal individuals delighted in it. Maybe more than a few. They were captured alive, and turned up a few days later having been mutilated beyond recognition, and their bodies booby-trapped as to injure the recovery teams.


Here’s the story from a while back. We were at my in-law’s house with some extended family, and distant non-family. Eating food, being social, etc. There’s also an older woman there that describes her self as “Not just a Liberal, but a flaming Liberal!” A true product of the 60's. After she finds out that I’m a Marine, she throws out the word “Jarhead” within earshot of me a couple of times. When I say it with my brothers, it’s a lighthearted insult. When she says it, it’s dripping with contempt. Conveying this in the written form really doesn’t do it justice. Intonation is huge.

Well, we are all sitting at the dinner table, eating our wonderful food, and someone mentions the film Syrania. Right then she boasts (and the intonation was full of vitriol) “Weeellll. Some of the things in that movie are Pre-Teee Accurate!”

I was looking down eating my food, and I pause because she’s clearly making a reference about the fingernail yanking, and how that’s what awaits captured US Servicemen. (But she couldn’t be saying that...could she?)

I glance up and see that she’s staring directly at me wearing a grin.

And that seals it.

Anyway, I spent the last 2 days within close proximity of this woman. I recoil at the sight of her face and the sound of her voice. It’s like those stories I’ve read when rape victims are forced to be around their attackers. I actually feel sick to my stomach when I ‘m around her, and I resent the fact that I’m expected to exhibit self restraint when I’m around such absolute evil. She shouldn't touch me. She shouldn't talk to me. She doesn't even have the right to look at me. Avert your eyes.

Well, I’m not going to be around her ever again. I know that these people exist, but they’re not going to be around me.

Sometimes self-restraint is just weakness, and taking the safe path because it’s easier. Sometimes "politeness" just isn't right. The sad part is that I actually feel like I’ve betrayed Tucker and Menchaca, for not speaking up for them when I had the chance, because they can no longer speak for themselves.

I probably have.

Weekend Prontimes

Ok, it's not really the weekend, but tomorrow my weekend will start. So here's a little tid-bit for you to check out.



Rick, Astley, Kung Fu, clay aiken gay, rice shortage, fiona lewis, Truth box, kids be gone, American Idol, Miley Cyrus, Bum Bot, GTA, Clinton Nomination Odds, Redback Spiders, Korean Power Bidet

Brando Day, Every Day

To heck with the Earth Day. Whenever you go do something that you call “Eco-Friendly”, it’s actually “Brando-Friendly”. Because, after all, it’s my world. I like it when you use windmills to generate power, because it’s so Brando-Friendly, but don’t expect me to thank you. You’re storing the energy for your own purposes. I’m providing you with the wind. So really, you should be thanking me for my gift.

You’re welcome.

This weekend, Kimbo Slice and I, and a bunch of Brando-Friendly people went out to clean up one of my local parks. It was really jazzed for the most part, because I really like that “good citizenship” feeling. It was double-plus, All-American, citizenship with a side of chips.

Two By Two. Hands Of Blue.


You might think that it was altruistic, but it wasn’t. It’s just part of my world. It’s not altruistic for me to clean up my house, or take a shower, or eat a steak. I get to do all of those things as a matter of Divine-Right. Or Brando-Right. Because everything I do is ordained by Brando.

Anyway, it started out really fun. We were picking up a lot of cigarettes and fast food trash and beer cans. Normal stuff, right? Stuff that might reasonably get away from you if you were having a picnic. Possibly, accidental trash. Probably not, but I’m willing to give the benefit of the doubt. At least at first.



Then we started finding stuff that people had to intentionally bring out there. Really gross stuff, or really overt non-park stuff. Used baby diapers, ceiling fans, medicine cabinets, tires, scrap wire, a heavy concrete pony, a hypodermic needle, jars, etc. I didn’t realize this before, but apparently it’s very popular for hunters to throw their deer carcass into the weeds just off the road in a park. Yuck.





By the end of it I was pretty disgusted by the thought process these bad citizens have.

"Hey Margie! We just changed out the ceiling fan, what do you want to do with the old one?"

"Let’s go to Brando’s park, and chuck it out of the window, while shooting heroin!"

"Great Idea! Then we can smoke reefer and go to a Michael Moore film!"

So all you nere-do-wells can just jump in the river for all I care. There are lots of ya. But there’s only one true Brando.



Oh, here’s a side story. We were by a roller-dam this weekend. I guess people consider them very dangerous, because they create a massive undertow. I’ve read that many in America are being replaced (with some other kind of dam) because they’re so dangerous. I don’t know. If you stay 300' away from the things, you’ll be fine. It’s not the dam’s fault that people are dumb. Hey, concrete bridge abutments are dangerous too. Don’t veer your car into them at highway speeds.

Usually our roller dam has a few feet of drop off, but right now the river is so high that the level difference is very small. 6 inches maybe. Well, this weekend I saw 2 guys with jet-skis get a run at the thing, going upstream, and launched into the air. If they would have fallen, there would have been nothing anyone could have done for them. It was pretty poor cost-benefit analysis. But I suppose just going anywhere on the river right now is dangerous, with all the trees below the waterline. Oh well. It turned out fine, so what do I care?

Here’s a vid of the dam that day, and a bunch of Geocachers getting the coords for another find.

Pizzle in the Hizzle

That's "points in the house" for all you squares out there.

Alright. According to the old German Beer Rules, what are the only 3 things that beer can be made from? That's a 3 pointer.


On the show Firefly, who was Inara's date in the episode Shindig? 2 points.


The ole 6 degrees of Kev, starting with.....I dunno....Shaq. 4 points.


I gotta have a nice easy one-pointer in there somewhere. Ok. For 1 point. Who is this?

ABC at it again

OK. So I went to the ABC website today when I should have been working and saw an article about the Iranian Vice Police. I guess they're the police that arrest people for not wearing a headscarf or wearing jeans, or whatever. I've heard about these guys from Iranian blogs. It sounds pretty ridiculous. It's the morality police. Literally. With the backing of the state. Yes, I know what 'literally' means. I know people in America say that we have "morality police", but it has to be some sort of hyper-exaggerated metaphor. These guys are actually the morality police. In real life.

This is what they look like. Check out their uniforms. They look like they're from some bad 80's movie. They also have women morality cops who like to crack down on un-Islamic dress.








You can't celebrate Valentine's Day. You can't kiss in public. I don't know what else. It's the morality police, and it's stupid and invasive.


Well apparently, some police chief of the Iran Vice bunch, was caught in an Iranian whore house. I suppose the irony makes some people happy, but I'm pretty disgusted by the idea of morality police, in the first place, and I'm very thankful that we live in a country where the populace doesn't tolerate that stuff. Although we have some laws where I feel the state is being a bit of a mother hen, I'm relieved that it's universally understood that the US military or police don't do that garbage.

That's right. I'll say it again. It's universally understood that the US military or police don't do that garbage.

Right up until the point where someone goes to ABC and checks out this news article. Pay attention to the picture.



M-16 family weapons, which look nothing like AK-47s?

Check.

Distinctive US Army helmets?

Check.

Stacked as though they are about to do a full-speed raid?

Check.

Body armour, knee pads, and dust goggles that look like ESS?

Check.

Hmmm. Did ABC choose to use a pic of American servicemen in an article about Iranian thugs? Well, I got a screenshot of it, in case they try to delete the pic.

Believe me. I know what an M-16 style weapon looks like, and what an AK-47 looks like. I've shot both, and they're nothing alike. That is no AK.





A picture is worth a thousand words, right? ABC's got a certain narrative to sell, and a lot of people are buying. They don't let facts get in the way of a good story. We're not even talking about bias. Just straight up slander. They're not even trying to hide it anymore. We get it, you hate the US Military.

I guess, I'll leave myself an out, because it is dark and I can't read their ID cards. I'll go with 99.87% chance that they're Americans. Maybe Iranians got a hold of a bunch of the new M-16A4 with a front grip, and wear flak and kevlar when they tell folks to wear a veil, when they could give them to actual combat units.

So, in conclusion. ABC can kiss muh butt.

So altogether now, what should ABC do?


*in unison* GET REAL!

If you want to play

For now just watch this video. I'll do a real post some other time.

Rapists

Yes, I titled my post "RAPISTS". So have fun opening this blog at work, and having someone glance at your screen. I wonder what hits I'm going to get from that title. Oh well.

This was on the front page of CNN's website, and the first thing I thought was; "Huh. I didn't realize that they still made glasses like that. People don't buy them because they make you look like a rapist."




I guess they have all sorts of fashions for those kinds.





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Ok. Enough of that silliness.




OK. For 2 points, what were the last words of Pvt. Vasquez?

Here's a fun fact. Pvt. Vasquez was also the stepfostermom on Terminator 2. Huh, who knew?

Fer the Weekend

The week’s over. Yeaaaaaa. So a lot of stuff happened. Here’s the rundown. You don’t need to read the news. I’ll just tell ya.

#1. A bunch of hippies chased a flame around San Fran, in protest of the Olympics. Maybe Kerri Strug should run out to calm em down, and pull a St. Tim.

#2. Hundreds of thousands of passengers can’t fly on planes cause some wireties were 1-1/4 inch apart, instead of exactly 1 inch apart. I’m glad we got that sorted out.

#3. General Petraeus gets chewed out by a bunch of legislators under the pretense that he’s been summoned to give a report.

#4. Kansas played basketball well.

#5. Sadr ran back to Iran, while everyone pretends that Iran isn’t helping Sadr.

#6. Frenchies paid a stinkin’ ransom to pirates.

#7. Obama says Pennsylvanians, and Midwesterners in general, are a bunch of corncob-smokin', banjo-strokin' chicken-chokin' cousin-pokin' inbred hillbilly racist morons, who cling to their guns and religion cause they’re a hoard of poverty stricken idiots.

#8. Reflected image in the VP’s sunglasses create darkmatter, and everyone loses their minds.

#9. Jenna Jameson is in a new zombie movie, and the world rejoices. Get Brianna Banks in there, then we'll talk.

#10. Nope. That’s it. Only nine things happened this week.

Oh, and here's your weekend pron. It's a hellfire missile in black-hot thermal, and apparently they don't teach dispersion in jihad school. Seriously gents! I have the overwhelming desire to call a time-out and pull them aside to explain the concept of dispersion to these guys. Oh well, they won't do that again.

Dark Heresy

So Cyberninja allowed me to borrow a sourcebook for the roleplaying game, Dark Heresy.

The game is complicated, and there are more percentage charts than you can shake a stick at, but that point is in the back of my mind when I’m reading that flavor text, and drooling over that artwork.

Games workshop sure does a great job of creating a 40K ‘feel’. I’ve posted about it in the past, and unless you are a gamer nerd, you’ve pretty much yawned.

Inquisitors and Daemonhosts and Flame Pistols and Underhive Assassins.


I always felt that what type of 40K army you choose to play, reflects somewhat on your character.

I dunno, some inner desires and whatnot.

If you’re in the know, I’m sure you realize that this is good stuff. 90% of the people reading this are saying, “Why isn’t he pointing out some internal inconsistency in a news article, like he usually does?”

Here are some pictures:





Hey look, they even made a 40K rendering of Brando.


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Points:

For 3 points, which kind is the real thin one? Pancetta or Prosciutto? I know which one I like but I get the names mixed up for some reason.
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more points:
In Goonies, name 4 characters. First names will be fine. Let's do 4 points.

Follow Me, Christmas Tree

So absolute has a new campaign to sell their vodka. They call it “In An Absolute World”, where they depict different scenes which are considered “perfect” or “ideal”.

Check it out. I just can’t make up stuff this good.



For realsies? So that's actually where you think the border should be?

What else are they going to show, with that same caption?

Slavery?

A thermo-nuclear device being detonated in Washington DC?

A Marine getting beheaded by jihadists?

The entire US Government being murdered?

Did I go too far? Is that too heavy for ya?


Well, lets go back to the concept of apology. The phrase "I'm sorry, if you felt bad." is a far cry from "I'm sorry for what I did."

It should be "I'm sorry." Period. If some conditions on it, you're pretty much saying "I'm not sorry."

"I'm sorry that your face looks like hell."

Well, check out the so-called apology that Absolute issued.

"In no way was it meant to offend or disparage, nor does it advocate an altering of borders, nor does it lend support to any anti-American sentiment, nor does it reflect immigration issues,"

It doesn’t advocate an altering of borders? Really? You might want to recheck the way those borders were drawn, because it looks an awful lot like you’re advocating an altering of borders.

"As a global company, we recognize that people in different parts of the world may lend different perspectives or interpret our ads in a different way than was intended in that market, and for that we apologize."

Wait a second. So you’re not saying that you’re sorry for the ad itself, but merely sorry for the way that it was interpreted? What exactly was the correct interpretation, as intended? There really aren’t a whole lot of ways to read that.

Read: “I’m sorry that you’re so wrong.”

That’s goofy. Oh well, no skin off my back. They have their position and I have mine. I believe what happened right there is what they call polarization. Don't be dumb. The border stays where it is. Brando says.

-----------------------------------

Points:

What was the one liner that Ben Richards stated when he killed Fireball? 4 Points.

What was the one liner that Ben Richards used after he dispatched Sub Zero? 4 Points.

----------------------
Extra Point:
In Predator, what will chewing tobacco turn you into? 1 point.

Quick Weekend Pron

Have a good one.

Roll Out - Works Every Time

Here's your quick political vid.



Here are your points. 3 of them.

Doug Masters was a rock and roll pilot, that just wanted to save his dad, and was fed up with the simulator. He liked to punch out motorcycle bullies, and knew the value of a good barrel-roll. His mentor, Chappy Sinclair, gave him a secret weapon to save his dad, which was the cinematic parallel of the "Death Blossom", from the Last Star Fighter. What was that secret weapon?

Heck, I can't stop with the points.

For 1 point: Who is this oscar winning actress? And don't give me any grief about that being dirty. The dirty's in your mind.


For 3 points, which actor sang "Dance Baby Dance" in the same movie with this actress.

And for 4 points, who was the character that led her around, and was basically the MC for her. He had a big head.