What time is it? Game Time!

This post is pretty tame and should be light reading. It’s about clocks and time.

Back in my restaurantouring days, we would have to be at work at 4:00, and would draw matches for which section we’d get. Getting a good section meant making more money. If you were late to work, you automatically got the worst section. We would usually give people a 5 minute grace period before we’d draw matches. You can probably guess what happened next. People started coming in at 4:04:30 and stating that they were on-time. When that started happening, I would begin to narrow my eyes. No more grace period. Late is late. I blame myself for being confusing and vague, when you thought a “grace-period” is an entitlement. I’ll be less confusing now. Be here at 4:00. [3:59:59 = on-time] [4:00:01 = late] Clear enough?

This is where it got fun. People started to argue about what the real time is. I’m sure you already know this, and that you don’t have rocks in your head. I’m not insulting your intelligence. Time isn’t subjective. There’s a big ole cesium clock in Boulder that says so. It’s so accurate that it won’t gain or lose a second for more than 60 million years. When someone says “be here at 4:00", they mean the standardized time that everyone uses and that moves in a liner and steady motion. (Cool it all you wannabe Hawkings, I don’t want to hear it) You set your wristwatch according to “THE TIME”. You don’t set your watch according to whatever you want, and then claim that the flow of time is actually being altered.”

Imagine a fool in a sarcastic voice “Well, mmmyyyy watch says 3:52!”

Bear in mind that these are college students. Self professed “smart people”. This conversation would happen about once per week.

Here are some unacceptable things that these people would say.

“I’m not late! The clock on the wall says 3:59!”
“The clock up front says a different time! That’s not fair!”
“How am I supposed to know what time it is?!”

Then my favorite would be direct personal attack.
“My watch says 3:58. Your watch must be wrong!”

Then they would try to reduce it down to who could “argue” for what time it is. Which I found to be extremely absurd. Then I’d make a big show of pulling down the wall clock and spinning the hands and saying “OH NO! I’M ACTUALLY CHANGING TIME!” That would usually piss em off pretty good. I couldn’t tell if they were in shock because I was mocking them, or because I had actually disrupted time.

Then I would give em a really condescending lecture about the quartz watch, and how you could get one for $1.99 at a local drugstore, and how the quartz watch is accurate to 60 seconds in one year. Set it according to the actual time. I dunno. Maybe check it once a month to see if the time’s still exact. Whatever it takes. You have to change it twice a year anyway for daylight savings.

Which brings me to my next point. At that same place, a woman came to work an hour early, because she didn’t account for daylight savings. She just sat in her car until the rest of us got there and she was pissed. Not at herself. At us, for “not telling her”. This is an adult I’m talking about. She was angry at us because we were accountable for making sure she knew about it. She bore no responsibility for her earliness. I told her that she was a dummy and I left, however I now feel that I did the wrong thing. Upon further review I should have apologized for being remiss. Then 6 months later give her a call at 1:00am to tell her about daylight savings time.

That could really backfire if she liked getting that call.

“Thank you Brando. Call me again in 6 months.”
“Crap”

I Knew It

UNC-Chapel Hill
Yesterday Morning.


Raleigh News and Observer:

"Vandals staged attacks early Wednesday on the buildings used by the Reserve Officers' Training Corps at N.C. State University and UNC-Chapel Hill, echoing similar assaults on three Triangle recruiting stations last month."

First, what’s this “we” business?

Just so I understand correctly. A person who isn’t in the military is telling military volunteers that they won’t fight on their behalf? That’s exactly backwards.

So much for liberal tolerance.

That reminds me of the time I was in Iowa City getting my meat tags. Just for background, Marines wear 2 dog-tags, one around their neck, and one in their left bootlaces. Just in case you get your “head blown off”. (Nice thought, huh?) Anyway, a meat-tag is a tattoo of the same info, usually on your ribs underneath your arm. The reason is so your corpse can be identified after the hadji savages strip you naked and drag you through the streets. Also, getting a tattoo on your ribs isn’t the best feeling thing in the world.

So I was at a pub drinking Guinness with my friends, waiting for my appointment. I’m trying to get myself mentally ready because I know how much it will hurt. I’m also thinking about my upcoming deployment, and all the preparations I need to make, and I’m reflecting on how heavy burdens are carried by only a few. I’m not crying about it, I got what I wanted. I simply realize that it doesn’t make the load any less heavy. Well, a friend of a friend is at the table with us and starts talking about “the draft”. He starts bragging about how if there were a draft, he wouldn’t go, because he’s a “Conscientious Objector”. He has a proud smile on his face when he declares that he could “never kill a person”.

Here’s what your brave hero said to the punk: Absolutely nothing. I couldn’t believe what he was saying. Maybe the timing was really bad, because of the reason I was in town. I didn’t know where to start. When someone is really insulated from danger, they don’t even realize it. When the sheep can’t see the wolves, they declare that they don’t need a sheepdog. It had never even crossed this guys mind that someone might try to kill him. I guess that’s a good thing. It means that security is good. Well, I just shook my head and continued drinking my beer. It bothered me for a long time afterward. I suppose he won.

When I told Robert Heinlein about it he said this:

“Pacifism is a shifty doctrine under which a man accepts the benefits of the social group without being willing to pay--and claims a halo for his dishonesty.”

Two-Prong

Eric lent me a book about informal fallacies, and I’ve been skimming through it thinking back to that Principles of Reasoning class I took back in the day. This stuff should be required reading for anyone that chooses to open their mouth. It’s pretty much a list of things to NOT do in an argument. A nice list of things that will reveal that you are subhuman.

It has winners like:
1. False Cause
2. Irrelevant Thesis
3. Begging the Question
4. Poisoning the Well
and my personal favorite
5. Bifuraction

Today’s lesson will be about The Fallacy of Bifuraction. Here’s the textbook definition.

The fallacy of bifurcation is an argument which presumes that a distinction or classification is exclusive and exhaustive, when other alternatives exist. The fallacy presents contraries as if they were contradictories. The fool only sees two options, and sees them as direct opposites. Bifurcation comes from the Latin bifurcus, meaning “two-pronged”.

If someone gets this fallacy in their head, I find it nearly impossible to talk to them.

Fool: “Do you believe in God or not?”
Me: “It’s not really about “believe”, it’s more about “observe”.
Fool: “So you don’t believe in God.”
Me: “Well, I don’t disbelieve in God. Do I have to choose?”
Fool: "Yes you do, because I'm retarded."

Try to explain “agnostic” to someone who has locked their mind.

Fool: “Do you believe that aliens have landed on earth?”
Me: “I don’t have enough information to say either way. I would guess it’s improbable, but not impossible.”
Fool: “So you don’t believe they’ve landed.”
Me: “Again. I’m not saying either way, because I don’t know either way. I would also guess that you don’t know either. Seriously, it’s OK to reserve judgement until you get some data."

Or

Fool: “Smoking pot isn’t bad for you, because smoking cigarettes is a lot worse.”
Me: “Well, I don’t smoke either. That’s like saying that pneumonia is great, because AIDS is terrible.”
Fool: “Do you know all the garbage they put in cigarettes? They are bad for you.”
Me: “Yeah, amazingly enough there is the third option of not smoking anything.”
Fool: “Marihuana is medicinal.”

Or

Fool: “Is the chicken marinara good or bad?”
Me: “It’s OK. It’s sort of tame. There’s nothing wrong with it and it tastes pretty good, but I can make it at home, and it’s not something I really crave.”
Fool: (pissed off) “That doesn’t make sense. Is it good or bad?!”
Me: “It does make sense, because food isn’t judged with a zero-sum decision. I’ve had a few great meals, a few terrible meals, and a lifetime of good meals. Get the filet.”

Over the years I’ve had a whole grippe of people tell me that they’ve just had the “best steak of their life”. I’ve also had a whole gaggle of people tell me that they’ve just had the “worst steak of their life.” The truth rests somewhere in the middle.

“Well tell me good sir? Is it Wonderful or Horrible? Will I ascend directly to heaven, or will I be tortured forever by the prince of darkness?”

I have been attacked with the fallacy of Bifuraction a good many times. Most of the villains that do it don’t even realize it, because they’ve spent their whole lives doing it. Take a guess on which topic folks choose to brandish this fallacy against me. These people are interested in getting as far from the truth as possible. They are base, nefarious, sinister beings; which, by comparison, makes me a bright shining bastion of light and righteousness in a world of filth and decay. I'm awesome.

Two for Stu

That’s right folks, the home-run king has spawned another creation. This one is named Gabe. I hope he grows up to be a lot of trouble for his old man. I’m sure the Stu-Doo will raise him right. He can teach him things like how to knock guys off of bar stools, how to have a completely snide and condescending view of everything he sees, and maybe he can teach him how to steal some Bailey’s cheesecake from Brando. We’re all rooting for ya Gabe.

3 parter

Part One
I went to Michelle’s senior recital today. It was percussion-tastic. I guess when you practice you get good. You could tell, there had been a whole lot of practicing going on. She played "wipeout" on the snare, "george of the jungle" on the timpani, and then she came out with a trumpet and played "Tequila". I think she also got a bass guitar and played the opening part of "come as you are". Afterward, there was punch and pie.

Part Two
The Islamic Thinkers Society was just at the Israeli consulate in NY a couple of days ago and they opened up some dialogue.


They discussion topics were things like:

Zionists, Zionists You will pay! The Wrath of Allah is on its way!
Israeli Zionists You shall pay! The Wrath of Allah is on its way!
The mushroom cloud is on its way! The real Holocaust is on its way!

We know many government services are watching us
Such as the FBI…CIA…Mossad, Homeland Security…
We know we are getting on their nerves
And so are you….
So we say the hell with you!
May the FBI burn in Hell
CIA burn in Hell
Mossad burn in Hell
Homeland Security burn in hell!!

Islam will dominate the world
Islam is the only solution
Islam will dominate the world
Islam is the only solution
Takbeer!

I dunno. I think they may be able to open some doors with that sort of talk. You know, just bounce around some ideas. The more ideas that are thrown into the mix means that there are just more options to choose from.

Part Three
Im reading Stone of Tears right now, and I sort of like it. I read the first one a while back, and I got a kick out of the Mord-Sith. They really know how to treat ya right.

Authors note
*hadji pic was from Iraq, not from NY. It does not go with the story, but it simply used for effect. And I really like Ashura pics.*

Dinnertime

Yeah, tonight the Grand Mrs and I went to the local sushi house to have some treats. I got the MatzuhauriTakahurrikammayurri Roll. It was to die for. We had a couple of Bass ales and then we hit the road for cooler scenes. We ended up at the ritzy joint on 1st Ave, and I ordered up a Salty Dog w/ grey goose. I like to call it a "salty goose", because I'm sort of a silly goose. Then the band started playing some sort of jazzy fizzle production. The problem was that they had no more grapefruit juice. And also no grey goose. So I had a gin and tonic. w/ kettle one. I didn't realise that was my default drink, but that's what came out of my mouth when I got stumped. I know that paul likes the vodka/cranberries, and I've seen that guy with 11 straws. Lemme see. Cullen usually goes for the martini extra dry (that's straight gin). I've heard him say beefeater, or saphire. And Cory likes the Bushmills. Eric is easy. His drink is the Caucasian. 60% of the time he orders it...every time. The last time I was hanging with Chad, he had a marg, but it was at a Mexican restaurant, so I'm still not sure. Travis just likes to challenge folks and knock fools out. Anywho. We got a chocolate cheesecake, and I just got a little bit fatter.

When we got home, the movie "The Rock" was on. How is it that Nick Cage is so weird, yet he is in so many darn movies. Ed Harris is pretty much the coolest actor on the planet. He's maybe just one step higher than Michael Biehn.

Smile for me daddy

Cory is usually the king of pointing out song lyrics that make no sense, and I’m usually the one that says “Hey, it’s just a song. They’re choosing those words because of the meter and tempo, and because they sound sort of aggressive. They’re not trying to cure cancer, they’re just trying to sell records.” Sometimes songs have lyrics that are so convoluted and cryptic that they can mean anything to anyone. That way the listener can apply them to his or her own life. Great. I can understand that. No problem. Sometimes the artist doesn’t even have an idea what they mean.

All that being true. This one still bugs me every time I hear it. I’m not doing you a favor for pointing it out.

There is a popular Nelly song that is on the radio nonstop right now. I believe it’s called “Grillz”. There is a lyric in the chorus that goes like this:

“Rob the jewelry store and tell 'em make me a grill.”

If you actually robbed a jewelry store, you would probably tell them something along the lines of “Don’t tell the police what we look like.”

You sure wouldn’t contract them to make some sort of specialized jewelry that you’d pick up later. I’m assuming that Nelly wants them to use the same jewels that were stolen from them.

It might make more sense to rob a jewelry store and tell SOMEONE ELSE to make you a “grill”. Someone that lives in a different city.

Every time I hear that line, I go 3% more insane.

It’s my right.

It's my right to drink IPA.


This post isn’t going to be highlighting the underhanded things that the left does, so don't fly off the handle, reject it out of hand, and say "I hate that Ann Coulter". Just simmer down. I will highlight things we all do. Possibly you’ve even heard someone say something along these lines. I’ve noticed that folks love to announce their “rights” or say the their “rights are being violated”, often without any idea of what their “rights” are. Most of the time, people confuse their “wants” with their “rights”, and hope nobody calls them on it. This may take some careful reading, but please try to get what I’m throwing out.

First, there is no such thing as a “Natural Right”. The constitution documents some pretty cool rights, and they must be constantly fought for. They are “rights” only because we know what they are, and we value them. There is no “natural right” for lions to refrain from eating you.

I’ll give some examples. If you’ve ever worked in a restaurant, you know that you have to work when everyone else is having fun. You don’t work 9-5. You work evenings and weekends, football Saturdays, Superbowl Sunday, Easter, etc. There are some “rights” you have when working in America. Minimum wage ($3.65 for servers), safe work environment. When I was managing, I had a kid say this:

kid: “You should pay us double time for working on holidays. It’s the law!”
me: (laughing) “No, it’s not.”
kid: “Well, it should be.”

Yeah, that's great, you dummy, just make up laws.


Here’s another gem: “The right to know.”

Heinlein had something to say about that:

“I had never heard of the public's right to know, a right that cannot be found in the constitution but was sacrosanct in the second half of the twentieth century.”

As Americans we love watching Inside Edition or Gossip TV or whatever else showcases what Brad Pitt, and Paris Hilton are up to. It’s not our constitutional right to know. People get that confused sometimes.

The right to your job. In France they just had a whole grippe of riots. When I read what they were actually rioting against I was surprised. They was a bill that would make it legal for employers to fire employees under 25. That’s it. I was like “Well, how do they do it now?” I guess they have guaranteed jobs. Can you imagine how unproductive that would be? Oh well, that’s not my country, if they want to put cans of soup on their heads before each shift, who am I to say?” In America, if you’re not productive, your employer will find someone who is. Actually, I think some states operate a bit differently, but in Iowa you can fire someone because they showed up late, or because they told you to “eat shit”, or because they wear too much perfume. If you want to run a successful business, I suggest that you fire the unproductive, and retain the productive.

OK, now it’s time for the biggie. This one seems to be very confusing for a lot of people. It’s the “Right to Free Speech”. The short version is that the state can’t imprison you for what you say. That’s it. That may not seem like much, but it’s huge. It’s awesome. When people “cry wolf” with the “right to free speech” thing, it undermines the true meaning. Of course we know about exceptions. Yelling “Fire” in a crowed theater. Causing a riot. NAMBLA parties.

Here are some things that free speech doesn’t mean:
After being fired for telling his boss to “eat shit and die”, the fool says “My right to free speech was violated”. If he were put into prison for saying those words, that would be a different story.

After saying “Black people haven’t contributed a single thing to this country.”, the fool tries to add value to his lie by saying “I’m exercising my right to free speech.” Are you in jail? Just because you can't be put in jail for lying, doesn't mean that lying is a virtue.

When you tell a fool to “shut up”, they say “You can’t say that to me, I have the right to free speech.”, while simultaneously claiming that their demand for you to “shut up”, is also free speech. So basically the fool trumpets that “free speech” is a right that applies exclusively to him, and to people that think like him. It certainly doesn’t apply to anyone who disagrees with him. Well, guess what. It applies to me too. It says so right here.

During protests sometimes people get exited and forget that they are accountable for what they do, and they start committing crimes. Maybe they start smashing windows, burning cars, stealing, or even they go stand on a busy highway in order to block traffic. Despite what some people maintain, you can be arrested for these things, and rightfully so. After they are arrested for their crimes, they predictably say “My First Amendment Rights have been violated”.

When people say such asinine stuff, I like to say “OK. Cool. The logic has been established.” Then I just conjure up a parallel example, staying within their bubble of logic. And I run it straight into the ground. In my parallel example, I like to throw in things like “forcible rape”, “dismember”, “sodomize an elderly man”, “cannibalism” etc. Try it. It’s fun, it’s like mad libs.

I found someone that is completely butchering the concept of Free Speech. Now before you read it, don't get all defensive, and say the story is a lie. This isn't "liberal bashing", this person isn't you. (Unless it actually is you.) I don't even know if this person is a liberal. It doesn't matter. I'm not going to tell you how I feel on abortion, because it would dilute the topic, and make you dig in your heels. Read this article as it pertains to Free Speech.

Pay special attention to the quote: "I did, outside of class during the break, invite students to express their freedom-of-speech rights to destroy the display if they wished to," Jacobsen said.

Shameful

Yeah, I can’t let this slide. For those that maintain that liberals are actually pro-military, please read these fools gloating about throwing a rock at a recruiter's SUV. It’s not a long article and it encapsulates what liberals are about.

For a report complete with pictures check out this.

Search Results

Here's your pic of the running Doctor.


Yeah, I now have enough search results to actually blog about it. Most are pretty tame, and I'm sure a few of them are from Paul. Here are a couple of odd things. I didn't know that people put "http" or "www" in a search engine. That doesn't exactly narrow it down. And of course, as Paul pointed out, some people haven't gotten the hang of keywords. Oddly enough I don't even know who Zac Efron is. But I'm going to learn all about him when I'm done posting.

brandodojo
travis brownell
khazistan government
http://brandodojo.blogspot.com
brando sweatshirt
brandodojo.blogspot.com
Chocolate Moouse
st valintino
brandodojo is dumb
brandodojo is fat
brandodojo and cullen are terrorists
brandodojo likes terrorists
lambda chi greek week courting
military trumpet wake up
geo caching + McCook
masters clock big display whas gps synchronized
zac efron as luke skywalker
brando sacred skin
Does Zac Efron have a girlfriend answers
bugs bunny hold on there hombre
What's the crazy thing that Zac Efron did?

**Zac was in firefly. Who knew?**

Do you love it now?

You love jihad? Huh. Well, I don't.


Someone set off a bomb in Pakistan during prayer time, in an effort to murder as many non combatants as possible. They murdered 40. What did the people do to the rescue force. In true form they attacked them. I’m sure in their minds, America did it somehow. (notice how the article says that "the blast" killed them, not terrorists)

That would crazy logic to use at a courtmartial. "Well technically, even though I sighted in, accounting for range and wind and walking speed, controlled my breathing and intentionally pressed a shot directly into the skull of a nun, I didn’t kill her. The projectile did.

Sheer madness. Hey AP. Get real.

Remember back in March, when that cruise ship capsized in Bahrain? 57 people died and the US Navy helped with the rescue efforts, and 67 were saved. Well, the families of the survivors decided it would be the best idea to riot, at the cruise ship offices.

This happens often with savage folk. They blame whoever they perceive as the authority, or whoever is in view, and they attack them. The savages also simultaneously complain about “lack of security”, while attacking security forces.


I’m not bringing this up to point out that terrorists are bad. Well, I am sort of, because people forget sometimes. My focus is that harboring terrorists isn’t the best way to have a nice place to live. One of the biggest things that struck me when I was in Iraq, was how apathetic and indifferent the people were to terrorism. One would think that they would scratch their heads and say “Wait a minute, perhaps terrorists aren’t really interested in our welfare. They just murdered at least 40 civilians, on purpose, and that’s sort of bullshit.”

But no, they will just shrug and do their “inch allah” thing, and complain, and throw rocks at their police and medics. Or burn down a KFC, with the employees inside.

"Jibbili Nestle?"

To Plan Or Not To Plan

Are you planning on getting in a car wreck?

Yes or No.

Seriously are you actually planning on getting in a wreck or not?


If your answer is “no”, then there is no need to have auto insurance. None at all. Oh, what’s this? You think having auto insurance is a good idea, and you actually carry some? So then you do plan on getting into a wreck? Yes? I knew it!

The reader of this blog has full intent to ram their car into another car. It is a forgone conclusion, and it is very irresponsible. I’m here to tell you that I’m way smarter and wiser than you, and it is very foolish of you to have plans to crash your car. I’m smart and you’re dumb! For more silliness with the word plan, click here.


This is an informative quote.
"George Bush is said to be getting ready to attack Iran."

This crap wouldn’t even work in a middle school bibliography.

Sources fer muh paper about da bombs
1. A senior official
2. is said to be
3. media reports
4. journalist Seymour Hersh

Can you spot what's odd about this headline?

US assault kills eight suspected Iraqi insurgents

Yeah, Paul sent me a message about this article. This one isn’t really that special. There are a million worded just like it.

Some highlights from this masterwork.

“Five suspected rebels were killed in an ensuing firefight, while three more suspected insurgents were killed when the US ground commander called in "air support" to target their machine-gun fire, the statement read.”

“Numerous weapons, ammunition, and falsified documents were found in the targeted safehouse, it added.”

This would be a true headline:
“Terrorists open fire on US troops and get their asses handed to them.”

But instead it’s twisted into something more like “Murderous US troops slay probable non-combatants” and as an afterthought they regrettably report “Yeah, I suppose they had numerous weapons, and they may have fired on US troops, but that’s just what the after action report says, and we all know how truthful the military is.” *wink, wink*

Here’s another gem:
“In other violence, a civilian was killed and six others wounded when a minibus packed with explosives blew up near Mustansriyah University in eastern Baghdad, police said.”

So busses just blow up?

Someone thought it was a good idea to pack it explosives and arm it with a detonator and trigger it, in town. Someone actively did that. On purpose.

I’m sure you’ll see a lot of articles that read something like “Violence kills 29" or “Roadside bomb targeting patrol kills 6 civilians”

The “violence” didn’t kill those folks. People did. On purpose. Whenever I hear of a horrible mass murder, I’m still shocked. I’m shocked even more by how passively it’s reported. 79 folks were murdered in a mosque suicide bombing last week, and yet nearly every news agency refuses to use the word “terrorist.” and reports it as though it’s some natural event.

I also like it when people talk about the “security problem”, or the “situation”. As though people choosing to detonate 155s in the middle of town is perfectly reasonable, and the outrage lies with the Americans for not forcibly stopping them. The people committing the murders actually say the same thing. Isn’t that weird?

That would be like me crashing into a bus full of kids on purpose, with the full intent of killing them, and then claiming later, that it’s actually the fault of the police, because they didn’t stop me.

Just in case this is too heavy, I’ve included a pic of Aimee Mann. Eric gave me a CD, and it’s sort of good.

I like em real thick and juicy.

On Friday, the Mrs and I went to a local restaurant called Vinos. It was great. First things first; I had a rusty nail, and we got a bottle of wine. We got a blend of cab, shirz, and pinot (I think), called menage a tois. For our app, we ordered a shrimp cocktail, but it wasn’t just your average chilled shrimp, with a glass of shrimp cocktail sauce. These were tempura coconut shrimp, and the were huge and butterflied. They were deep fried and served with a sort of horseradish sauce, that was layered with different colors, and the whole thing was served in a big martini glass. Just the thing to get the evening started. Tempura shrimp look sort of like this, except in a glass.


Coconut shrimp are awesome, I want to get a little fryer for home, but it makes the house stink.

We also had some salads and bread. Sort of standard.

For our meals, the Mrs. had seared scallops, with black Gnocchi (which is a potato based pasta or dumpling), the dumplings were colored with squid ink, and the whole thing had a light tomato/ cream sauce. I’m not normally a big fan of scallops, just because they’re so rich, but this dish had a lot going on. I was impressed.

I had a big filet, mid-rare, and some garlic mashed potatoes. It must have been 9 ounces, of solid, good, heaven sent beef. Three thumbs way up! There is something about a perfect steak that is a-ok in my book. The meat in a filet is really dense compared to something like prime rib. I was satisfied.

Just for the record, I like prime rib too. I had some when Dana turned 50. Vino’s also serves a great Veal Marsala. As does Dragonetti’s in Eau Claire. I’m heartened when restaurants don’t cave to the anti-veal crowd. Everyone’s starting to serve Chicken Marsala, which is a just an imitation of the true dish.



Then we each got some after dinner coffee, and I got a little amaretto cream cake, and the Mrs. had tiramisu. Everyone has their own opinion of how tiramisu should look and taste, but I think that Vino’s is pretty close to what I imagine as the ideal.

On Saturday, I went to the wedding of a Tyler Olsen and Sarah Halbrook. Tyler's running for Iowa legislature this this November. The weather was perfect for the wedding, and they probably had 250 in attendance. The Mrs. has strep throat and stayed home, but I went to “represent”. Everyone was beautiful and handsome, and the church smelled like flowers. It was nice as nice could be.

There was a break of time between the wedding and the reception, so we went down to the local brewpub, the Irish Democrat, and had a stout. Then we proceeded to the reception hall, at the CRCC, which is darn nice. They served filets and salmon, and I had a couple of glasses of cab. Try to imagine what filet and salmon X 250 would cost, plus an open bar, plus renting the room itself. Let’s just say that I was very thankful for being invited.

And I had filet 2 nights in a row. What’s up now!?

Get Real

The president of Zimbabwe is under pressure for human rights accusations, receives hundreds of millions in foreign aid (much from the USA), and has the highest AIDS rate in the world. They are also not real friendly to independent news in that mudhole. As a way to deflect attention being paid to his country, the president of Zimbabwe, Robert Mugabe, said this:

“Human rights here are better than those of the United States.”

Get real.

He sites slavery as one of his reasons, and his country was founded in 1980.

That would be like us saying “We have better housing codes and sanitation than the UK. Just look at the London fires of 1666!”

I say to cut off all bribes to Zimbabwe until they learn to tell the truth. Ungrateful fools.

Moving along!



Here’s a quote that got my attention.

“Students at Shaw Heights Middle School are no longer allowed to wear anything that's patriotic, including camouflage pants, because they have become a political symbol for a version of patriotism.”

Get real. *yeah I used a blog as a source, so what?* :)


I saw a bumpersticker which I got a kick out of but I couldn’t find a pic of it on the internet, so I'll just tell you about it. It spelled out the position of a certain faction in America. I won’t call them liberals this time. I guess it’s not necessary to call them anything. I’ll just tell you about the bumpersticker.

It said “DEFEAT THE REAL ENEMY.” in block letters that were striped red, white, and blue.

As opposed to that fictional enemy al-queda?

Get real.

I did find this picture though, which is similar.


President Bush has already served 2 terms, so they can’t possibly mean that they want to “defeat” him at the voting booths. I wonder what they actually mean?
That's what I thought.


They could do the Pat Robertson backpedal on this one. “What I mean is to “take him down” to the store to get some ice cream.”


But we know what precisely what liberals mean. Don't we?
Liberals actually, literally want the assassination of the President of the United States.



Yup. You guessed it. Get Real.

One more thing before I go. I always get a laugh when people talk about military stuff without having the slightest clue. I saw this one on confederate yankee. It's about that C-5 Galaxy that crashed a few days ago. CNN covered the story which was nothing that important, so they just cited stats about the huge ass plane. Here's what they said.

The C-5 can carry 270,000 tons of cargo almost 2,500 miles on one load of fuel. The C-5's wingspan is 28 feet wider than a 747 and the military jet is 16 feet longer than the civilian airliner.

That's a heavy plane! A battleship is 50,000 tons. The heaviest battleship to ever sail was 69,000 tons.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnd. Get real.

Dana’s 50!

That’s right folks Dana is officially old. Super old. We all got together in Dana’s old stomping ground, La Crosse, WI. The drive was great. I really enjoyed the road in between McGreggor and La Crosse. The river on one side and the cliffs on the other. Very nice.
We stayed at the Stoney Creek Lodge which had a sort of northwoods feel. We all ate at outback as a family, had some cake and whooped it up Saturday night, and went to Perkins in the morning.

We partied like Wisconsin. Once I got my ass kicked in Wisconsin. It was the big party blowout of April. We gorged ourselves on prime rib and slaked our thirst on the blood of our foes. Er, actually we just drank beer. Maybe some rum too. The feasting and revelry continued into the night and the northwoods warrior spirits were appeased.

On they way home they had these historical markers every few miles. We stopped at this one because I've always considered myself to be pretty darn bad axe.
That’s a pretty good weekend in my book.