Nothing of importance

Could the parents of this child be any more mean?

Ok, I know I'm really behind the times, and that you've all seen the peanut butter jelly time garbage. I saw a new one today and I really liked it, but I figured I had better start at the begining.

On second thought, I don't feel like going through the long sorted PBJ time story. It's dumb anyway. I'll just give you a few.
One. regular style
Two. family guy style
Three. dorm room style
Four. asian suit style. This one is the only one that's any good. And even that's questionable.


I'd also like to share a story about Pinky. He's a very loving cat.

Kong needs love too

There are some points I'd like to make about King Kong. I was speaking to Cullen about it and he made some keen observations which made me laugh pretty hard.

1. Skull Island had a very active ecosystem. Everything is a predator. Yes there were some brontosaurs there, but they got smoked pretty quickly. I'm not sure what the hunting radius of a single T-Rex is, but I bet they need to eat a lot of mass for their active hunting lifestyle. How many were there in one spot? 5? 7? All fighting over a bony little gal, when you have a whole valley of brontosaurs just around the bend. And then you have the chitinous carnivore crab creatures paired with the huge sickly white worms, trying their best to fangoriously devour someone's head. And did you see that HUGE lobster creature that was living underground, and you just barely get to see one of his claws when it darts out and grabs someone. Jack Black called Kong the 8th wonder of the world, when Skull Island has wonders 8-43.


2. Goofy ass love story. The empire state building scene when Naomi Watts is bonding with Kong, went about 10 min too long. I get it, he's just a fierce fighter, taken out of his element, that only knows love. He wants to peacefully coexist with his girlfriend, that obviously loves him deeply, if only the horrible military would allow them to love. This was also demonstrated with the ice pond scene, when our two lovebirds find a moment of respite from the hustle and bustle of the cruel city. Frolicking in the snow, staring lovingly into each other's eyes, and just about when Kong is about to break into perfect English and ask her to consummate their affection......WHAM! A howitzer shell is fired at them, disrupting the progress of mankind. WHY!?

Let's forget that Kong just killed about 200 people when he was slam-dancing in the street. He was in all out smash mode. And he was trying to kill Adrien Brody, because he "stole" his girlfriend. "Yeah, Kong, she's not your girlfriend, she was offered up as a sacrifice, by the headsmashers."

One more scene was showed the goofy love. When they were escaping the island, and the Cap'n shot Kong with the harpoon, Watts was like "NNNNNOOOOOOO!" But was perfectly cool with Kong biting someone's fucking head off!

3. At the end, when there is a ton of property damage and a whole gaggle of people are dead and wounded, Jack Black saunters up to eyeball the dead Kong. He should be in deep doo-doo. If you bring a 25' gorilla into a heavily populated area, you assume a great deal of responsibility for the potential damage that the aforementioned gorilla might cause. You're responsible to keep him restrained! He just strolls up without a care in the world, overhears someone say "The airplanes killed him.", and corrects him with "Nope, the beauty did." Then tips his hat, and goes off to eat a reuben.

And here's Jessica Lange.

P-ditty was right all along

Yeah, I felt a bit threatened by P Ditty's humble imperative. I like voting, and exersizing my slight bit of democracy, but when P-Ditty tells me that he's going to take my life from me if I don't comply with his wishes, I feel like killing him. As a sort of pre-emptive strike. I don't want to die. It sure was nice of him to let me know what he intended to do, so I could do something to prevent it. I wonder how it would go if I wore a shirt with huge block lettering that said "Make me a chicken pot pie, or be forcibly raped!"

I'm sure the argument to defend the "Vote or Die!" business, is that he's not threatening that he will personally kill you, but merely stating what will certianly happen to you, in a manner completely unrelated to him.

In that case, I'm using the same defense. And I still want that chicken pot pie.

Anyway, think that would make a good campaign platform for Hamas.


I saw a picture earlier today with armed men standing directly over the shoulders of the voters while they freely picked their leaders. But I couldn't find it again. :( So this pic of the exploding ghosts had to suffice. It's a good enough representation of this particluar party. I'm sure we've all seen those doctored pictures of G.W. with a little hitler mustache and a swastika. Or the pictures of Kerry or Kennedy with an Al-Queda shirt. Folks like to use creative metaphors to say that Kerry is a terrorist, or that Bush is a terrorist. Well, Hamas are terrorists. I'm not saying they are like terrorists. I'm not trying to get you to link some bad image with the image that I think is bad. They are actually terrorists. Human shields for fun. I get the impression that Hamas doesn't quite have the same Warrior's Code that our Leathernecks have. I'm going to add a link, and you can poke around the pictures of Hamas if you like. I actually picked some of the tame pictures for my blog, becasue I wanted to keep it sort of light. The link is here. VOTE OR DIE.

First Commandment

The commandment is "Thou Shall Put Up or Shut Thy Mouth Up".

When I was in high school, there was this smart dude in my class name Chris. But we all called him doogie, like the TV show. He was a pretty cool guy and I guess I considered him a friend. I went to a pretty small school and everyone knew each other, so when we were gearing up for the ACT, we all got to talking about it. We all asked him what he was shooting for, and I'm sure he got pretty sick of dumbasses like me asking, but he eventually said he was aiming for a 34. (for you SAT types, 34 is damn good) We all took the tests on the same day, and when we got the results back, everyone was astir about how well they did. When asked, Doogie only said "I didn't do very well." Well, that could mean a wide array of things, and we weren't going to stop until we got a number. He got a 30. (still damn great) But when he said it, you could tell that he was a bit disapointed, because he had missed his goal. It wasn't some false, arrogant "You'd better believe that I'm better than this!" And we had to pull it out of him.

Later that day, someone was asking a group of people "Did you hear how Doogie did?" and a girl, Jen, spouts off "Oh, he didn't do very well."

Wait a minute. It's one thing if he says it. But it sounds different comming from you.

I then asked her the next logical question:
"What score did you get?" And I was thinking "It had better be 31 or I'm going to throat-punch you."

Well, she scored somewhere in the teens. At that point I started getting tunnel vision and uttered "Wrong Answer!" I then grabbed her about her head/neck region and did my best "Superfly Jimmy Snuka" off of a nearby lunch table. She wasn't badly hurt. Just some breaks and things. I even sent her some flowers when she was in the hospital. The get-well card said "Looks like you didn't do too well."

Some things in this post were embellished for emotional effect.

Very sweet culture

Pakistan time. I was reading the different articles about Pakistan and the Predator missile strike on an Al-Queda meeting house. Some articles claim that the people had no connection to Al-Queda and that they were innocent victims. Other articles claim that the blame for any collateral damage rests squarely on the shoulders of terrorist conspirators. Man, that’s a tough one. As a terrorist meeting house, it is a legitimate military target. But if there are kids in there too? What a moral dilemma. And that’s assuming that the predator pilot knew that there were kids there. I think that the correct decision was made, but I’m still glad that I didn’t have to make it.

What really piqued my interest was the Paki’s general attitude toward America vs. Al-Queda. Everyone tries to divide the world into 2 kinds of people. Us vs. Them. That’s just how the human brain works. Many people in America make the division between conservative vs. liberal, focusing on just a few pet issues. Chinese vs. Japanese, Shia vs. Sunni, White vs. Black, Hutu vs. Tutsi, whatever. The Us vs. Them in my mind is the US military and Terror networks (by whatever name). I guess the unrealistic thing is that I expect all civilized people to reject terrorism.. Anywho, I was observing how the Paki people want the world to know which camp they are in.

I’d also like to note that in 2005 the US taxpayer sent the gift of $194 million to Pakistan. Meanwhile the French, that claim that the US is giving too little, gave $14.7 million to Pakistan in ’05. Just to recap, (15<194 or 15 !> 194)

So despite the outright hatred Pakis have for us, we will still help them and love them like children. I forgive them, and hope that their culture will improve and that they will learn to be a great people someday. Like us.

If you're ever in Edinbourgh and you need to get some advice, you'll know to go. In America we have folks just giving the stuff away left and right. Even if you don't want it. 

This was the last day at FOB St. Mike, right before we ran the 400 mile gaultlet to Kuwait. 

Rules are for fools

Hello World. I'm an American that likes reading Paul's blog, but to post on other blogs I had to create this account. I doubt this will be any fun for anyone to read.